Understanding your spouse's perspective benefits your financial partnership
Now comes the tough part for many marriages – the accounting. At this point, the “rubber meets the road.” Your money has to be accounted, or it will disappear.. The problem is, most of us are not natural accountants, let alone trained accountants. Our personalities and strengths may not be suited for accounting. And those of us who are accountants may be constantly frustrated when we cannot account for where every single penny went every month. Before we talk about the personal finance accounting habits as a married couple, let’s talk about our individual money mindsets, personalities and strengths.
Personal Money Mindsets
Our values and experiences with money, combined with our God-given personalities and strengths, form money mindsets. When Christian spouses work together to make financial decisions, they should be aware of their individual money mindsets and strive to combine them into a balanced partnership.
Mindset | Strengths | Weaknesses | Enneagram Personality |
|---|---|---|---|
Spender - Risky | Decider, Generous/Gifts | Overspending, Wasteful | Type 2, Type 4, Type 7 |
Saver – Not Risky | Safe, Achiever, Prepared | Frugal, Hoarder, Guilt, Shame | Type 1, Type 3, Type 6 |
Investor - Risky | Optimistic, Starter, Analytical | Overconfidence, Pride, Reckless | Type 5, Type 8 |
Ignorer – Not Risky | Trusting, Sacrificial, Agreeable | Unaware, Anger, Resentment | Type 7, Type 9 |
Our God-given natural core personality impacts our money mindset. The Enneagram is a map for personal growth that explains 9 ways people perceive the world and relate to others. When we do things outside of our core personality, we get stressed or anxious. When we act from our core personality type, we are more peaceful and confident. The Enneagram types can help you understand not only why you naturally think, feel and behave the way you do, but also how your spouse does. It gives us a common ground for adapting to one another and partnering together for good married financial habits.
Enneagram Personality Types and Strengths for Married Financial Habits
Truity offers a free, online Enneagram test for you to determine your core personality type. You can also discover detailed descriptions of each Enneagram Type and how they interact with one another.
Type 1: Moral Perfectionist – rational, idealistic, purposeful, self-controlled, reliable, productive, orderly
Type 2: Supportive Advisor – caring, people-pleasing, generous, enthusiastic, feeling, service, host
Type 3: Successful Achiever – optimistic, confident, pragmatic, adaptable, driven, self-motivated, energetic, professional
Type 4: Romantic Individual – compassionate, introspective, creative, intuitive, supportive, bohemian
Type 5: Investigative Thinker – logical, perceptive, innovative, problem-solver, sensitive, objective, wise
Type 6: Loyal Guardian – committed, engaging, responsible, loyal, practical, helpful, defender
Type 7: Entertaining Optimist – busy, spontaneous, versatile, entertaining, imaginative, productive, quick, confident, extroverted, curious
Type 8: Protective Challenger – powerful, charismatic, confrontational, maverick, direct, loyal, self-confident
Type 9: Peaceful Mediator – easygoing, agreeable, peacemaker, referee, dreamer, diplomatic, fair, empathetic, open-minded
Keep in mind the Enneagram is a guide, not Biblical spiritual truth. That said, it helps us talk about ourselves and our preferences easier, so that we can reach common ground, especially about the married financial habits we need to do to achieve Financial Freedom.
Unified Personal Finance Tasks and Habits
Here we go! What does it take to maintain your personal financial health? Many of the same habits and discipline that it takes to maintain our physical health with diet, exercise and recovery (rest): planning, tracking, scheduling, doing, evaluating, and repeating. It’s the same cycle with personal financial habits. There are only 3 personal finance habits:
Spending: Track All Spending; Pay Off Debt Plan; Compare Spending to Monthly Budget Plan
Saving: Maintain Targeted Savings Plan; Flexibility for Generosity Opportunities
Investing: Retirement Plan (Passive); Bridge Plan (Active); Home Ownership (Accelerated)
Ignoring: NOT AN OPTION
How do the 3 Personal Finance Tasks fit with the Money Mindsets?
Mindset | Both Spouses YES | One Spouse YES; One Spouse NO | Both Spouses NO |
|---|---|---|---|
Spender - Risky | Agree on new tracking process together, review together monthly | One spouse makes tracking easy for other spouse and reports monthly | Automate tracking in app, no cash, review together monthly |
Saver – Not Risky | Agree on savings goals and accounts, review progress together | Agree on savings goals, one spouse tracks the accounts | Agree on savings account for each goal; automate transfers to each account |
Investor - Risky | Agree on risk tolerance & annual return rate, review together quarterly, involve financial advisor | Agree on risk tolerance, one spouse manages all accounts, use a financial advisor to review quarterly | Hire a financial advisor to manage accounts, review performance quarterly, automate all contributions |
Ignorer – Not Risky | NOT an option | NOT an option | NOT an option |
The challenge is NOT who does what financial task. The challenge is intentionally communicating with one another about the financial tasks. The challenge is having the money talks even when you don’t want to and don’t feel like it. This challenge isn’t any different than any other beneficial habit, from Bible reading to prayer to nutrition to exercise. It will take self-discipline by each spouse, and it will take mutual discipline together. But the rewards will be worth it, both financially and relationally.
For the moment, all [God’s] discipline seems not to be pleasant, but painful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterward it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness. Hebrews 12:11 NASB
God is much more concerned with who we are in our character and our love for one another than He is about accounting for every penny and resisting that drive-through coffee that blows the food budget. God is more concerned about His people not paying debts (lying), not paying taxes (stealing), not giving (hoarding), not saving (fooling), not investing (fearing), and not leaving an inheritance (self-serving). God does not expect perfection, but we must continue to work together with His help to fulfill His stewardship responsibilities, both individually and as a unified married couple in our married financial habits.
Comments