Mutual Stewardship Unity Takes Open Accounts
In a Christian marriage, the husband and the wife are both individual stewards of God’s provision of money and possessions. When they commit to love each other exclusively in marriage, they also commit to unified mutual stewardship service of what God provides the combined household. This will take a unifying agreement between the two spouses about open accounts.
Open accounts means both spouses have access to view each other’s banking, loan, credit and investment accounts. No secrets. It doesn’t mean full control of each other’s accounts, because some accounts are limited to individuals, such as personal IRA accounts, company 401(k) accounts, and government pension accounts.
Open accounts means spending money honesty. Nothing erodes trust between spouses faster than hiding purchases. Not every little purchase has to be shared, especially when using petty cash, but spouses should be honest with one another and have the safety to admit spending mistakes and fix them. Agree to ask the other spouse before any major purchase (I recommend a $200 limit to start, but it could be less or more depending on your income, financial situation and comfort with the agreement).
Your Marriage Unification Agreement
Start your unification agreement by opening a joint savings account and a joint checking account. There are three agreement options to start mutual stewardship unity:
Full Unification - Both spouses automatically deposit all paychecks and income into the savings account. Then set up an automatic transfer of each month’s spending plan budget to the checking account. Have 1 month of budget in the checking account as an emergency fund buffer. Cancel all individual credit cards. Open one – and ONLY one - joint credit card account for online and secure purchases. Example: Adam & Eve together bring $14,000 in savings into the marriage. They open a joint savings account and put in $7,000, which they estimate is one month of living expenses together. They open a joint checking account and put in $7,000 which is an emergency savings “buffer.” Adam & Eve earn $8,000 take home pay (gross income) every month that is automatically deposited into the joint savings account. They set up a bank automatic transfer of $7,000 from the savings to their checking account, so that they always save $1,000 per month first. Then they pay their monthly spending plan expenses and bills directly from the checking account as much as possible. They open a single joint credit card that gets 2% cash back at their bank, the bill is paid automatically from the checking account each month.
Partial Unification – Each spouse keeps their separate checking and savings accounts. Their paychecks go to their own separate checking accounts. Start a joint checking account and a joint savings account. Set up an automatic transfer between the individual checking accounts and the joint checking account to transfer each spouse’s half of the monthly spending plan budget amount on consistent, fixed survival expenses (home bills, insurance, loans, cell phones, etc.). Set up an automatic transfer between the individual checking account and the joint savings account for each spouse’s half of the monthly savings goals. Each individual pays for their own variable discretionary expenses (food, clothes, gas, entertainment, etc.) from their individual checking accounts.
Gradual Unification – Mutually agree over the first year to gradually go from zero to Partial Unification in six months, then from Partial to Full Unification in 12 months. Some couples want to go from zero to Full Unification as soon as they get married, and that can be difficult to do if they marry later in life and have more accounts, assets, property and loans. Begin with each spouse paying equal share of household bills. Agree on how to share rent or mortgage costs. Then add paying half of all discretionary spending. Start with simple wins and save the most complex or contentious decisions for last. Get help from a financial counselor if you need it.
Yes, in an ideal situation our finances in our marriage should be fully consolidated. But in some cases that is just not possible, and actually might hurt your financial situation. For example, you may have to file your taxes “married separately” if one or both of you pay alimony on a prior marriage. Or you might have retirement accounts that are only individual and must be distributed to an individual account. Sometimes individual spending and saving is actually wise stewardship.
Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue is but for a moment.
Deceit is in the heart of those who devise evil, but those who plan peace have joy.
Proverbs 12:19-20 ESV
A truthful marriage relationship will last forever. Spouses who plan financially together will have peace and joy. Both spouses have mutual stewardship responsibility to be open and honest about their individual accounts, and to build up the marriage financially to stewardship unity rather than to tear it down individually with distrust. Strive for peace and joy together with the Lord!
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